Blended with Pain: Notorious Devils (Cash Bar Book 4) Read online

  I don’t let go of her wrist, holding onto her, even as she tries to move out of my grasp. “Brother, want to let her go so we can order?”

  “When do you get a break?” I demand.

  She looks from side to side, then shakes her head. “I can’t do this, not right now. Like, not ever,” she says.

  She twists out of my grasp and hurries away from me. I watch her ass as she goes, noticing that she’s filled out nicely since I last saw her, something I knew would happen. She’s a goddamn knockout just like I predicted.

  “You want to explain that shit? Plus, we haven’t ordered food, and I don’t think she’s coming back to our table anytime soon,” Baby says.

  Lifting my hand, I run my fingers through my hair, letting out a heavy breath. “I used to date her sister, years ago. I didn’t think she’d still be here, in this town,” I mutter.

  “How in the fuck did you date someone here? You lived in North Dakota, right?” Houston asks.

  I chuckle, thinking about Sadie, about how she thought it would be cute if she ran down here. How she was pissed that I took her stash and flushed it down the toilet, then signed her up for rehab. She took off to show me some kind of lesson, all it did was piss me off even more than I already was.

  All it did was make me end the fucking games she played for over a year with me. I was young, but I wasn’t that young, there was plenty of pussy in the sea waiting for me. I didn’t need her brand of fucked up on my plate. Ending it with her was the right thing to do, I wasn’t in love with her anyway.

  “Carson and her sister were from North Dakota. The sister dragged her down here. I still don’t know why or how they ended up in this town. I’m surprised Carson’s still here, she was a smart kid, I assumed she’d be off to college somewhere,” I shrug.

  A few minutes later a man in a polo shirt appears to take our order. My appetite is now nonexistent, but that doesn’t stop me from ordering a double burger, a side of Texas Toast, and potato salad. The waiter walks away, however, the table stays quiet, my thought consumed with Carson.

  “We need to talk about Fish, brother,” Baby says, keeping his voice low. I lift my chin before I lean forward. He’s right, that’s why we came out here, and we need to get this shit under control.

  “Think we should call Snake?” Houston asks.

  Our food is delivered quickly, and we all dig in. “I think it’s about time. I tried texting Fish this morning and still nothing. I think he’s ghosted, he was acting really fucking weird on the way here,” I mutter, shoving the burger in my mouth.

  “He was. Something ain’t right, that’s for sure,” Baby grunts.

  “I’ll call Snake tonight, it’s time. We shouldn’t have let Fish leave,” I admit. I shouldn’t have let him leave.

  I knew something was up, but I’m not really part of the Canadian chapter yet, I hold zero power or rank. What Fish dishes out as far as orders on this trip, we follow, but I’m not feeling good things about this, about him.

  “Heard there were some caverns up the road, want to go for a ride, get the fuck away from that hotel for a while?” Baby asks.

  I shake my head as I pull money out to pay the bill. “I’m going to wait around here,” I shrug.

  “She looked freaked the fuck out, man. Maybe you shouldn’t,” Houston suggests.

  I bite the inside of my cheek thinking about his words. “She shouldn’t be scared of me. Never did nothin’ to her, or her sister. Got a feeling there’s more to the story, and I’m planning on finding out before we move on from here.”

  The rest of the guys leave, heading up to some fucking caverns to go exploring or some shit. I leave the restaurant, but not before I catch a glimpse of Carson in the kitchen. She turns her head and her mouth parts when she sees me. She looks the same, but different, mature, prettier.

  Making my way outside, I lean against my bike and I decide to wait her out. This place isn’t open for dinner, so I know she’ll be gone before dark. I have plenty of time. Not much else to do in this little place. I’m determined to get to the bottom of this shit. I want to know what the fuck she’s hiding.

  CARSON

  I INHALE a deep breath before I let out the exhale, trying to control my breathing. I’m focused on making biscuits, cutting them out, and placing them on the sheet pan to go into the oven.

  “That man was fine times one hundred, girl. Why in the hell did you run like your panties were on fire?” Shannon, one of the cooks, asks me as she whips up some of the restaurant’s famous meringue for a lemon meringue pie.

  “He dated my sister,” I shrug.

  Shannon knows my past, hell, everyone in town does. It was a big deal when Sadie was found dead on the bathroom floor, needles and dope all around her, and poor little Axe screaming in his crib. I had been at work all day, waiting tables here. I’d just mailed my college application to the University of Texas in Austin earlier that day, too, so I hadn’t been around.

  Needless to say, the day my sister OD’d on meth was the day she changed not only her own life but mine and Axe’s as well. She changed the course of everything she touched, everything she was a part of, which I guess wasn’t much different from her being alive. She did always have a way of bringing the rest of the world along for whatever ride she was on.

  I spend the rest of my shift in a complete funk. Thoughts of Sadie, of the way I found her, float in and out of my mind as I go about my job. I’ve never been so thankful as I am when my shift is finally over. I count my tips, smiling when I realize that I’ve got enough to pay for rent this month. Another month floating through life.

  Money is tight, it always has been, but after Sadie, when it was just me and Axe, it became nonexistent. I make it work though. It doesn’t matter how tight money is, I’ll continue to work as hard as I can for Axe, to give him everything that I’m capable of. Everything I never had.

  Walking out of the back of the BlueBonnet, I dig my keys out of my purse and grip them in my hand. The warm Texas wind blows, and I inhale the smell of water from Lake LBJ that is just a few yards away. I come to a halt when I see a man leaning against a motorcycle.

  I don’t need to take a step closer to know it’s him. Ace leans against his bike. His body is long, strong, but lean. His hair is messy, looking like he’s ran his fingers through it for hours, and he has a cigarette dangling from his lips. He’s sexier than I remembered. Stronger, harder, and much more intimidating.

  His head turns slowly, and he faces me, watching me. I can feel his eyes on my body, burning my skin as my feet slowly move toward him. There is no evading him, not when he’s waited four hours for me to get off of work. He wants answers, and I’m terrified of what he’ll do once he finally gets them.

  CHAPTER TWO

  KEYS

  I WATCH HER STUMBLE, stop, then finally continue to walk toward me. Now that she’s not in her apron, I can see all of her. She’s a goddamn knockout, just like I thought. Her long hair is in a braid and resting over her shoulder, her lean legs are encased in tight jeans and she’s wearing a low cut tank that shows off the swells of her breasts. She definitely does not look like the kid she did five years ago.

  Throwing the cigarette I’d been smoking onto the ground, I stub it out with my heel as I push off of my bike. “I’m sure you have questions,” she announces as she makes her way up to me. Her voice is trembling, but still sexy as shit.

  Nodding, I smirk as I look down at her. She isn’t much shorter than me, around five-foot-ten and I find that her height only adds to her appeal. I could fuck her in a few different positions that don’t work with shorter women. Shaking my head, I try to get images of Carson naked and waiting for me out of my head. She’s a fucking kid—or at least that’s what I tell myself.

  “What’s got you so fucking shook up seeing me?” I bark.

  She flinches, her eyes downcast to her feet before she slowly brings them back up. I see tears shimmering in them, and I tilt my head to the side. Confused by her reaction.r />
  “Sadie died four years ago, Ace,” she whispers.

  Her words cause my heart to pound against my chest. Four years ago, fuck. Reaching out to her, I wrap my hand around her bicep and give her a squeeze.

  “Sorry to hear that, babe,” I say, and it’s completely heartfelt.

  I am sorry to hear that. Sadie and I weren’t meant for one another, but that doesn’t mean that I wished her ill will, I never did. We were just two people that couldn’t be together, and Sadie, she had demons that she never wanted to eradicate.

  Carson smiles, her lips trembling. “I tried to call you once. I wanted to call you a million times. Before she passed, I begged her to call you,” she whispers. Her words don’t make much sense, she’s rambling, and avoiding telling me something else, something more.

  I frown, her words sinking in. Something isn’t right, really not fucking right. “Wait, why did you beg her to call me, Carson?” I demand.

  My phone rings, but I don’t let go of her bicep. I squeeze her tighter, giving her a shake. She pulls away from me, and I let her. Reaching for my phone, I curse when I see who it is. “We aren’t done here, Carson. Tell me where I can find you. We’re talking later,” I bark.

  She nods, taking a huge gulp. “Take this road behind you. Third house on the left is mine. I’ll be home all day tomorrow,” she rattles her words then she quickly walks away from me as I answer my phone.

  “Where are you?” Snake demands.

  I clear my throat before I explain, “Holed up in this tiny town off the highway in Texas called Marble Falls. Fish put our operations on hold, we’re waiting for orders from him. He said he’d be back in a couple days, refused to let anyone come with him, claims he’s scouting. He’s acting really fucking cagey, man.”

  We were supposed to invade the Texas ranch days ago, almost a week ago, when Fish put operations on hold. Right now, the way Snake is demanding to know where we are, I’m wondering if he wasn’t informed of Fish’s “scouting” expedition.

  Snake chuckles. “No shit. Blow that place up, and come home, ASAP. I’ll fill you in when you get here.”

  He ends the call and I shove my phone in my pocket before I run both of my hands through my hair, tugging on the ends of my strands.

  Fuck.

  Everything at once.

  Digging my phone out again, I shoot a text to Baby.

  TEXAS RANCH TAKEDOWN TOMORROW. MEET AT HOTEL ASAP.

  BABY: ROGER.

  I roll my eyes before I straddle my bike. Baby is a fucking tool. Making my way back to the hotel, I decided to stop at Twin Liquors to grab some booze. I have a feeling I’m going to need it after tomorrow. Between blowing up a whole fucking compound, and whatever Carson has to tell me, this booze will be the only thing that gets me through the day.

  Once my pitstop is out of the way, I hurry back to the hotel. I return before the rest of the group, and I pull out my computer. I log into the hotel’s shitty wifi and I decide to search.

  Carson Everett. Fuck. I can’t believe that I still remember her last name. It doesn’t take long for information on her to pop up. She has a Facebook page and an Instagram. They’re both private but easily hacked into.

  I freeze when I see a picture of her from just a couple days ago. She’s holding a little boy. A blond haired, blue-eyed boy. A boy who looks exactly like me.

  “What the fuck?” I breathe.

  Standing, I pick my keys up off of the table when Baby and Houston walk through the door. I sink back in the chair, knowing that I can’t take off right now. This shit will have to just lie for a while, until tomorrow after we blow the fuck out of that compound. Then, I’m going to get to the bottom of this kid, and Carson.

  CARSON

  PICKING AXE UP FROM DAYCARE, I can’t help but feel my stomach rolling and aching the rest of the evening. I know what’s to come tomorrow. When Ace sees him, he’s going to know immediately. My sister didn’t give much to this boy as far as looks go. He is one hundred percent his father’s son.

  “Pasghetti, CarCar,” Axe calls out as he runs into the kitchen from the living room.

  Our little one bedroom house isn’t anything fancy, but the rent is low and it’s clean. Axe and I share the only bedroom in the home. I have a twin bed for each of us, and although it’s a tight fit for my long body, I don’t mind, not really. It’s safe, clean, and better than I ever had growing up.

  I smile, ruffling his blond hair. “Okay, Axe, spaghetti it is. Do you want meatballs?”

  He doesn’t answer right away, so I turn to look at him. He has a completely serious look on his face. “Can you eat pasghetti without them?”

  Laughing, I shake my head. “No, I don’t think that you can.” I wasn’t going to make it without them anyway, but I thought that I would ask him, at least. Really, it was just something to take my mind off of Ace.

  “What did you do at preschool today?” I ask, attempting to keep the conversation going.

  He shrugs. “I shot up three zombies. Then later, I did a roundhouse kick and got rid of three bad guy ninjas.”

  I’m unable to hold back my laugh. I know he didn’t really hurt anyone, but the games they play at school are hilarious. Having a sister, I have had zero clue what to do with a boy. I’ve discovered that although raising a boy is completely different than growing up with a sister, I wouldn’t trade my time with Axe for anything else in the world.

  He is amazing.

  My stomach makes that rolling motion again when I think about tomorrow. Ace could take him away from me. He could and there would be nothing I could do about it, or rather nothing that I would do about it.

  Axe is his son, and although I’ve gone through all the proper channels about raising him here. He is Axe’s only living parent, and once his name is listed on the birth certificate, there wouldn’t be anything that could be done. I wouldn’t drag him through some big messy court thing, anyway. That’s not my style. No matter how badly I would want to keep him with me.

  I spend the evening with Axe, watching his favorite movie and just cuddle with him. The truth is, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring and I’m terrified. Once he’s bathed and put to sleep, I spend the rest of the night pacing.

  There’s a knock on my back door around ten and I sigh, opening it to see my neighbor, Roxanne. She’s standing on my back stoop with a bottle of wine in one hand and a box of chocolate in the other.

  “How did you know?” I ask.

  “You don’t work tomorrow,” she grins, stepping in past me.

  I smile, closing the door behind her. “Where’s Tim?” I ask.

  She shrugs. “Down at Pardner’s.”

  Frowning, I take two mason jars out of my cabinet and set them on the table before I sit down across from her. “Why do you stay with him?” I sigh.

  Pardner’s is the definition of Texas honky-tonk. It’s where you go to dance, drink, and hookup. It is not where a man with a sweet woman like Roxanne goes alone. He should be at home with her, not out carousing like a fucking animal on the prowl.

  “I don’t know. I really don’t,” she shrugs.

  I press my lips together, wondering if I should tell her about Ace. Shit. I have to tell someone and other than Shannon, she’s my closest friend. Lifting the mason jar to my lips, I take a sip of the sweet wine she’s brought.

  “Ace is here. He saw me at work,” I blurt out.

  Her eyes round. “Shit. Does he know?” she asks, tipping her head toward the closed bedroom door where Axe is sleeping.

  I shake my head. “He knows something’s up. I told him about Sadie dying, but he got a phone call. He’s coming over sometime tomorrow to talk,” I breathe and when I do tears begin to fall from my eyes.

  Roxanne quickly stands from her chair and walks up next to me, wrapping her arms around my body. “Oh my God. It’s going to be okay, I swear it will be okay, sweetie,” she coos.

  My lips tremble and I shake my head. “He’s going to take him. Then what will I do, R
oxie?” I whimper.

  She pushes me back slightly, her hands on my shoulders and she gives me a gentle shake. “You will do what you have to, honey. You’ll pack up your shit and you’ll move to wherever he is. Axe is your baby, you will not abandon him, because that’s just not who you are.”

  “What if he won’t let me see him anymore? What if he doesn’t want me anywhere near him, I’ll die,” I sob.

  Roxanne laughs. “Honey, if he does, we’ll have Tim drop him where he stands. Say he was breaking into your place. You know that the police sergeant is sweet on you, everyone will believe you,” she shrugs.

  My lips tip in a smile and I wipe the tears away from my eyes. “I don’t know what time he’s coming over tomorrow. I told him I’d be home all day, will you watch out for him. Come by if things get heated? I’ll leave the windows open.”

  She laughs. “Of course I will, but I don’t think they will. He’ll be upset, probably hurt, but I don’t see how he could get angry with you, sweetie. You’ve taken better care of that boy than his mama ever would.”

  We spend the rest of the evening talking, drinking, and eating chocolate. I think about Roxanne’s words. The ones where she said I’ve taken better care of Axe than his own mother would have. She isn’t wrong, not by a longshot. I loved my sister, and she helped raise me, but she was on drugs, plain and simple.

  I just hope that Ace doesn’t hate me for not doing a better job of contacting him four years ago when I should have. I hate myself so much for not being stronger, already.

  CHAPTER THREE

  KEYS

  “BLOW IT UP?” Baby asks. I watch as he scrubs his hand over his face. “Brother, all those women and kids…” His words trail off just as we see a woman and child being led out of one of the houses by a man, into the middle of a field.

  We’re quiet as we watch. The man lifts his arm, he’s holding something in his hand and then red sprays everywhere before the woman drops to the ground. The child doesn’t move, doesn’t make a sound. His head is tipped down for a moment, his eyes presumably taking in his dead mother. We’re in the middle of nowhere, we would hear the kid scream, yet he doesn’t.