Chased with Strength_Notorious Devils Page 8

  I nod. I know myself well enough to know that if he pushed, I wouldn’t tell him no. Unfortunately, my past dictates that part of me, and I don’t know if I could ever change. Maybe one day, but right now, I would be with him if that’s what he wanted, even if I didn’t. It wouldn’t be anything new, granted it’s been almost two years, but I doubt I forgot how to fake anything.

  “Fuck. I don’t want that,” he mutters. “I need to think. I’ll see you later,” he states.

  He doesn’t give me a chance to say anything else. I watch as he walks away, and I know that nothing will become of us. I’m relieved and sad, all at the same time. Reaching for the bag of takeout, I open it and frown. I was hungry just a few minutes ago, but now, nothing seems appealing.

  The door flies open, and I let out a small scream. Baby is standing in the doorway, a frown on his face and his eyes pointed at me.

  “That felt like shit, Hayden,” he announces. I don’t say anything. I’m not sure what to say. “It felt like shit, but what are we doing here?”

  “I don’t know,” I admit.

  “You aren’t attracted to me, are you? I mean I said I’d wait, but I don’t think I can really wait that long,” he grimaces, walking back into my kitchen, his boots stomping with each step he takes.

  My teeth sink into the corner of my lip. “I want to be. I’m sorry, Baby.”

  He shakes his head. “You were going to get with me, and try, why?”

  I’m glad that his tone isn’t angry, he’s more baffled I think than anything. I shrug, unsure of how to answer him. “I’m tired of everything. I’m tired of the looks of pity, and I’m tired of being alone,” I admit.

  Baby closes the distance between us and pulls me into his arms. “Hayden, fuck,” he curses. “You in love with Crooner?” he asks, his lips touching the top of my head.

  Pinching my eyes closed, I nod against his chest.

  “Then, let’s get him off of his lazy old ass, and in your bed, beautiful.”

  Lifting my head, I tilt it back and look into his eyes. He smirks. “He’s obviously not going to charge in here on his own and claim you. I see the way he watches you but, beautiful, we’re going to have to make him jealous.”

  “Why would you do this?” I ask.

  He chuckles. “I like fucking with him, first of all. Secondly, you deserve happiness and if he’s the man that makes you happy…” he shrugs. “Besides, we all saw how you stood vigil over him when he was shot and nursed him back to health. You’ve been in love with him since day one, it was wishful thinking on my part to think I could swoop in on that,” he shrugs.

  Lifting my hand, I cup his cheek with my palm. “I don’t deserve someone like you in my life,” I admit.

  He shakes his head. “I’m not that good, Hayden. Maybe I do this for you, when I find someone to be my Old Lady, you’ll put in a good word for me,” he winks.

  “You know I will,” I smile.

  He clears his throat, straightening, and grins. “Okay, it’s set. Operation Jealousy is in full effect,” he chuckles.

  “This feels like it’s going to be trouble,” I murmur.

  Baby’s grin widens. “I’m sure it will, beautiful.”

  CROONER

  “Fuck,” Motorhead curses.

  I feel the same fucking way. This place isn’t just remote, it’s monitored, and locked up tighter than a military base. We can’t even get a good view of the entrance gates. Free spotted the first camera almost immediately and we had to keep on driving. We head back to the cabin without finding out a fucking thing.

  “I’m calling, Snake. We need technical shit here, and I’m not the man for the job,” Free chuckles.

  After a fifteen-minute conversation, Free tells us to load up the van. We’re heading home. This shit is going to have to wait for another day. As much as that fucking blows, I can’t deny that I’m glad to be headed back home—back to Hayden.

  Once we’re loaded up, we decide to take turns driving. Motorhead is ready to be back to his woman, too. My decision has been made about Hayden. I’m going to make her mine. I don’t give a fuck about anything else anymore. She’s nineteen, she’s a mother, and she’s never been able to make her own decisions and she never will. I’m her man now, she just doesn’t know it yet.

  The drive back is long, and we take turns napping, restlessly. When we arrive back at the clubhouse, none of us speaks to one another. It’s four in the morning, and I reluctantly drag my ass to bed. Hayden will have to wait until later this evening, after she gets off work and I’ve had a few hours of shut-eye.

  CHAPTER NINE

  HAYDEN

  I give Easton one last kiss before I tiptoe out of his room. I’m glad that he’s finally asleep. He’s been teething on molars and was completely miserable all evening long. I feel so bad for my little guy, I wish there was some magic way to make all of the pain go away, but I know that other than Orajel, I’m fucked.

  The rest of the night I feel like I don’t sleep a wink. I toss and turn worried that he’s going to wake up in pain. Of course, he doesn’t. He sleeps like the sweet baby that he is, all night long. By the time my alarm sounds the next morning I feel hungover I’m so tired.

  I go about my day as normal as possible, trying to ignore my pounding head from lack of sleep. Baby walks into the bar right before my shift ends and I’m taken aback when he makes his way directly toward me. He has an indescribable look in his eyes, and I hold my breath, afraid of what he’s going to say.

  “He’s back,” he whispers, pressing his forehead against mine.

  My breath hitches, and for whatever reason Jack, the Aryan who held me captive for months and the man who is Easton’s biological father, flashes through my mind. My throat closes up at the thought of him finding us.

  “Now, I think I should stay the night tonight, I’m sure he’ll show up and want to talk to you. We need him to think I’m in your life, though. You know to make him truly jealous.”

  Baby’s words start to register, and I finally begin to breathe again. He’s talking about Crooner. I’m able to breathe again, but my head has started pounding, to the point where I feel light headed and nauseous.

  “I didn’t sleep last night, and I don’t feel great today. I can’t play any games right now,” I sigh, holding my forehead in my palm.

  Baby shakes his head, his hand taking mine. “Sorry, beautiful. No can do, I know he’s going to be knocking on your trailer door, wanting to talk to you,” he says.

  I suck in a deep breath before I let it out. “I know you’re trying to help. Yesterday, I would have been okay with it. Today, I feel like shit. I really don’t care. Seriously, Baby. I’m going to head over to Gracie’s, pick up Easton, and then I’m going to bed. Nothing else,” I sigh.

  Baby’s eyes narrow. “Oh, fine. You know he’s coming to your place tonight. Text me if you need me?” he asks, his last-ditch effort to play his game.

  “Sure, I’ll text you,” I lie.

  He nods and leaves me in the bar. Traci walks in right after him, a smile tipping her lips. “You two get together finally?” she asks.

  I shake my head. “No, we kind of tried. It didn’t work,” I shrug.

  Traci’s sad eyes meet mine, and I hate the pity in them. I second think having Baby come back. I hate the look on her face right now. Then, I decide I’m too fucking tired for this shit. I wave goodbye to Traci and Ned and make my way toward Gracie’s.

  When I arrive in front of her house, I’m surprised to see Easton outside playing. I glance at the front porch and she’s sitting there with Fish and Crooner. Her eyes meet mine and they round. I’m frozen to my spot, though. I didn’t expect him here, and even though Baby told me he was back, I didn’t anticipate seeing him today, tonight or even tomorrow.

  Crooner shakes Fish’s hand, squeezes Gracie’s shoulder and then slings Easton’s bag over his shoulder before he makes his way down the steps of their home. I watch in awe as he scoops Easton into his arms before he re
aches my side.

  “Hey, babe,” he says, his voice deep and sultry. Goddammit, my belly flips and I have to press my thighs together just at the sound of his voice.

  Clearing my throat, I wave to Gracie and Fish. Gracie excitedly waves back, and Fish just lifts his chin toward me. Crooner slips his arm around my waist and guides me toward home. “You look fucking tired as shit,” he remarks.

  “I am. What are you doing here?” I snap.

  Crooner chuckles but I don’t look at him. I can’t look into his dark blue eyes, or at his unkempt beard. He usually has it combed neatly, but it’s a mess today, and so is his long curly hair. “I’m ordering pizza, we’ll go to bed early.”

  I stop walking at his declaration. He doesn’t though, he just continues down the street. When he’s farther than I would like, I jog back up to him. “We’ll go to bed early?” I ask, slowly.

  He slides his arm around my shoulders and tugs me against his side. “Yeah. We’ll go to bed early,” he grunts.

  He walks into the trailer, only letting Easton down to his feet when we’re inside. Easton doesn’t stay there for long, he toddles over to me and throws his arms up, whining for me to pick him up. I do, carrying him over to the sofa and holding him in my arms. He lays his head down against my neck immediately, shoving his thumb into his mouth.

  “He sick? He doesn’t look good, babe,” Crooner mentions a few minutes later.

  I yawn, my fight completely gone from my body. Now that I’m sitting, I’m completely done for the night. Crooner can stay here, hell he can sleep naked next to me for all I care. I’m too tired to give much of a fuck.

  “He’s teething. I didn’t sleep last night, I was afraid he’d wake up,” I admit with a shrug.

  Crooner doesn’t say anything else. I expect him to go away, maybe leave, but he doesn’t. Instead, he sits down next to us, and he gently pulls me against his side. Both Easton and I lean against him and I let out a sigh.

  “I’m sorry, babe. I should have been here while he wasn’t feeling good,” he says, pressing his lips to my hair.

  “I’m too tired to ask you what all of this means,” I admit.

  “It means I’m done trying to protect you from me, Hay. It means you’re mine the way you should have been from day one. It means soon you’ll be wearing my brand for the whole fuckin’ world to see, like it or not,” he says.

  I tip my head back, my eyes barely open. “I think I would like that,” I exhale.

  His eyes soften as he looks down at me and he shakes his head once. “Doubtful, but it’s what you got, babe. You’re mine now.”

  Curling into his side, I relax against him again before I sigh. “This is the only place I’d like to be. At your side, and yours.”

  CROONER

  Hayden falls asleep instantly against my chest. Easton lifts his head about fifteen minutes after her eyes close and he gives me a big toothy grin. He lifts his hand up and reaches for my beard, his favorite pull toy. With a chuckle, I gently pick him up from Hayden’s chest and hold him to my own.

  The pizza I ordered should be here any minute, but I know that Hayden wouldn’t want Easton to have any. She’s really particular about his food, which is one of the reasons I like her so much. Easton isn’t a burden to her, she doesn’t just throw whatever’s in the cupboard at him. She tries to ensure that his meals are nutritious and usually homemade.

  Opening the fridge, I find a carton of eggs and decide to make him scrambled eggs. I’m not the best cook, hell I can’t really cook much of anything, but I know I can do eggs, and put some bread in a toaster.

  “Dada,” Easton mumbles, tugging on my beard.

  My entire body freezes and I look at him. His bright blue eyes are smiling and he’s drooling more than normal, but he’s just called me dada. My breath hitches and my heart starts to pound in my chest. I glance over at Hayden to see if she’s heard, but she doesn’t move. Pulling him a little closer to me, I hold him tightly.

  “Yeah, East. I’m your fuckin’ dada,” I rasp against his head.

  He throws his chubby baby arms around my neck and holds on tight. He stays there, his face buried in my neck as I go about the kitchen getting his dinner ready. What just happened between us feels huge, bigger than anything I’ve ever been a part of in my life.

  My chest swells with pride. I’m proud to be Easton’s dad. Maybe Hayden won’t be happy with our little declaration, but it doesn’t make it less true. I love this kid, and he’s chosen me to be his dad, which is exactly what I plan on being from now until I take my last breath.

  A knock on the door sounds and I hurry over toward it so that Hayden doesn’t wake up. There’s a man on the other side holding a pizza bag. I quickly hand him the cash before taking the box from him. He looks at me a little funny before he turns and jogs off toward his waiting car. Locking the door, I turn toward the kitchen and am surprised to see Hayden sitting up on the couch, her eyes wide open and looking directly at me.

  “I smell eggs,” she announces.

  My lips twitch in a grin. “I made Easton scrambled eggs and toast,” I state.

  Hayden’s mouth drops open slightly and then she snaps it closed. “Thank you, Crooner,” she breathes.

  “Ward.” Her brows snap together as she stares at me, obviously confused by my outburst. “You call me, Ward, babe.”

  Turning away from her, I set Easton down in his high chair and then plate his food. I quickly cut it up before I grab one of his little plastic forks and set it down on his tray. I can hear Hayden moving around, but I don’t expect her arms to wrap around my waist from behind, or her tits to press against my back.

  “Thank you, Ward,” she says softly.

  I grunt, unsure of what to say. “Let’s eat.”

  “Okay,” she smiles.

  Hayden releases me before she grabs a couple of plates and hands one to me. We put the pizza on our plates, something I wouldn’t ever do on my own. Pizza is meant to be eaten out of the box with a beer in hand. Unfortunately, I don’t have a beer, and Hayden is handing me a plate, obviously meaning for me to use it.

  I load up four slices of pizza onto my plate and sit down at her small table, across from Easton who is shoveling food in his mouth like he hasn’t eaten all day long. Hayden joins me a second later, but she doesn’t eat. She looks from me to Easton, and then back to me.

  “I don’t know what happens next,” she whispers.

  Lifting my food to my mouth I take a big bite, thinking about her words for a moment. “You think you could handle going to bed with me, and doing more than just sleeping?” I bluntly ask.

  I watch as her pretty face turns bright red with embarrassment. She laughs, and a smile appears on her lips. “I think I might be able to handle that,” she mutters.

  We don’t talk about it again the rest of dinner. I ask her how the past few weeks have gone at work, if there’s been anything new. She shakes her head, but I can tell that she wants to talk to me about something. There’s something niggling at the back of her mind. I know Hayden well enough to know that she’ll say whatever it is, she just needs time to work up her courage.

  “Baby had this big grand plan,” she blurts out.

  I blink, leaning back in my seat while Easton bangs around on his plastic tray. “He did?”

  “He wanted to make you jealous. He thought that it would push you closer to claiming me or something. We kissed, and it was obvious that he is not the one for me, and so he was going to help me get you. I told him I didn’t want any part of it today. I was just so tired, and he was trying to push the issue. I don’t know if he will again, but I just thought you should know,” she rambles.

  Unfortunately, I don’t hear much after she says the word kissed.

  “You kissed?”

  Hayden makes a squeaking sound and presses her lips together. Her round eyes stare straight at me, but she doesn’t speak. I can feel the blood rushing through my body at her declaration. I want to be pissed, well I am pissed, but
I’m trying to keep it in. I really have no right to be. I’ve fucked other women during the past two years, so I should keep my fucking mouth shut.

  “He spent a little time here, and we did, only once,” she explains.

  I run my hand over my face, in hopes that my anger will disappear. It doesn’t, but I decide to tamp it down anyway. I strung her along for longer than I should have, and I can’t be mad at her, not when she should have moved onto someone else, and didn’t.

  “I won’t stand for games, Hayden,” I announce.

  She tilts her head to the side and narrows her eyes slightly. “Me either, Ward. I told Baby no. Whatever he does is on him, but I’m telling you right now because I don’t want to do games either.”

  “Glad we’re on the same page, babe,” I grumble.

  Hayden rolls her eyes as her lips twitch in a small smile. “I’m going to give Easton a bath,” she says through her smile.

  “I’ll clean up the kitchen for you.”

  I watch her walk down the hall with Easton in her arms, her sweet ass swaying from side to side as she does. I bite my bottom lip, wondering what it’s going to feel like to sink into that ass of hers. I can’t fucking wait.

  Then again, maybe I’ll take her pussy instead. I exhale a shaky breath at the thought. I haven’t been with a woman like that in a long fucking time. We’re committed to one another though, and even without my name inked on her body, she is my Old Lady.

  Fuck.

  She’s mine, and for the first time in years, I get to make a woman my own again.

  CHAPTER TEN

  HAYDEN

  Once Easton is sound asleep, I slowly make my way into my own bedroom. I know that Ward is already there, waiting for me. My legs feel like Jell-O with each step I take closer to him. This is it. This is the defining moment of our relationship.