Blended with Pain: Notorious Devils (Cash Bar Book 4) Read online

  “She hasn’t been herself. I’m worried that everything is crashing down now that we’re settled here,” she whispers.

  I glance behind me, then back to her. “That why you making a big deal about staying?” She shrugs, her fingers picking at her food. I shake my head, leaning back in my chair. “Go get dressed,” I grunt.

  Her eyes meet mine and she tilts her head to the side. “Go, or I’ll throw you in the car like that,” I announce, dipping my head and making a point to stare at her braless tits.

  I watch as her mouth gets tight and her eyes narrow. The move is so fucking cute that I can’t help but smile at her. “You know you’re a j-e-r-k,” she says, spelling the word out.

  I lift my chin, shoving an entire cinnamon roll in my mouth, giving her a wink. “Better hurry,” I say through my mouthful of food.

  Carson stands, her eyes full of fire, and I wish I could fuck her right now, in the middle of the table surrounded by the heavenly breakfast she baked. She stomps over to me, stopping right in front of me with her legs firmly planted on the floor and her fists firmly planted on her hips.

  Reaching behind her, I wrap my arm around her waist and roughly tug her onto my lap. She lets out a scream as her ass lands against my thigh. Sliding one of my hands up her back, I twist my fingers in her hair, angling her head just the way I want it and slam my mouth against hers. Grunting with the pain of my bruised mouth as it meets hers.

  She struggles against my kiss for about two seconds before she melts into me. Her hands slide up my shoulders and her fingers twist in my hair. When I feel them tug on the strands, I let out a moan into her sweet mouth. She swallows the sound like a good girl, and later she’ll be swallowing something else.

  “Hurry, Sweet Pea, we have shit to do today,” I whisper against her lips. “Axe and me’ll clean up.”

  “Okay,” she whispers against my mouth.

  Releasing her, she stands, and I watch her ass as she walks away from me. Axe giggles next to me and I look over to him, arching a brow. “You love my auntie CarCar,” he grins.

  I think about his words. He’s wrong, of course. I don’t know her well enough to love her, even if I did, I’ve never loved anyone, so I’m not sure what it feels like. I also know that Carson is different, special. She isn’t just some bitch I’m fucking. I wouldn’t have come back here if she were, even if she were watching my son. I’d scrape her off and to the side without hesitation.

  “I like her a hell of a lot, Axe,” I admit with a grin. “Now let’s clean up like we promised.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CARSON

  I LIFT my hand to Roxanne’s closed door, but let it fall to my side, instead of knocking on it. She’s going through something, I’ve never seen her act this way before, but I don’t want to bother her, either. I know there are times when I just want to be left alone. I slide the piece of paper that’s in my other hand beneath her door. It’s a note explaining that me and Axe are heading out with Ace for the day, and if she needs anything to please call me.

  “Ready?” Ace asks as soon as I make my way into the living room.

  Lifting my gaze, I freeze at the sight in front of me. Ace is sitting on the sofa, Axe next to him, curled into his side as he watches television. Axe is fully dressed, including shoes, and his hair is brushed. My eyes shift over to Ace. “Did you dress him? Did he brush his teeth?”

  He chuckles. “Yeah, Sweet Pea. He’s all ready to go. Kitchen’s cleaned up, let’s head out, we have a couple of appointments.”

  I give him a small smile, confused and oddly my heart is racing with excitement that he helped me this morning. I’ve never had that, and it’s almost thrilling. I hitch my purse a little higher on my shoulder and attempt to school my excited features.

  “Got your keys?” he asks, holding his hand out as he stands from the sofa. I dig into my purse and bring them out, placing them in his palm. “Let’s go.”

  Ace turns from me and walks out of the trailer. Axe wraps his fingers around my hand and we take one step toward the door, but I pause to look back at Roxie’s closed door. Something niggles at me, something just isn’t right with her. I don’t want to leave her, afraid that something will happen. What? I’m not sure, but I have a feeling something is going to happen.

  Turning away from her closed door, we make our way outside to a waiting Ace. I open the back door and watch as Axe crawls into the car, buckling himself in quickly, ready for the new adventure of today. I glance up at Ace from across the top of the car.

  “Can you call Houston?” I ask. He frowns, tilting his head to the side as he waits for me to expand on my question. “Roxanne isn’t acting right. I’m afraid to leave her alone. They have somewhat of a relationship. I just figured if something were to happen, he could be there for her?”

  Ace lifts his chin, as he brings the phone to his ear. I don’t hear what he says, but his deep timbred mumbles fill the quiet air around us. He lifts his chin a few moments later and slides his phone back into his pocket. “It’s handled, let’s go,” he grumbles.

  Opening the passenger door, I sink down and rest the back of my head against the seat. “Why didn’t you want me to drive?” I ask once he starts the engine.

  He turns his head, his eyes dancing as they meet mine. “Am I a man?” he asks.

  My brows knit together, and I watch as he shifts the car into reverse. “Well, yeah,” I answer.

  “Unless I’m passed out, or dead, bitches don’t drive me around, not ever,” he grunts.

  “Can you stop saying bitches in front of Axe?” I ask on a sigh.

  He lifts his gaze to the rearview mirror and I look back to Axe. He’s looking out the window not paying attention to us at all. Ace doesn’t point out the obvious, which I’m thankful for. I’m not wrong, I don’t think he should curse in front of Axe as much. It’s not necessary, and he’s still just a little boy.

  The rest of the short car ride is quiet. I’m lost in thought, consumed with Roxanne and whatever she’s going through. I hope that she snaps out of her funk sooner rather than later, she’s worrying me.

  “This is the first stop,” he announces.

  My thoughts about Roxanne disappear as I look up at the house in front of us. There is a man standing on the porch wearing slacks and a button-down shirt, obviously the realtor or landlord. He looks nothing like me and Ace.

  I tug my shirt down over my exposed belly like he can see me from here or something. Then I look past him at the house. It’s bigger than the small place I rented in Texas, at least double the size, maybe triple. Ace doesn’t wait for me to respond, he’s already out of the car, and has Axe unbuckled and at his side as he walks up to the man.

  Scrambling out of the car myself, I tug my shirt down again as I hurry behind them to catch up. I’m in awe of the house. I’ve never lived anywhere really nice. The small house in Texas, it was old, and the rent was cheap, but it was the only actual house I’d ever lived in. I grew up in trailers before that, old run down, dilapidated trailers. I didn’t want that for Axe. In fact, I made sure no matter what I had to sacrifice that he always had a real house to live in.

  This place that Ace is bringing us to, it’s like a freaking castle.

  I watch as he shakes the man’s hand then introduces me to him. “Hello,” I murmur holding my hand out.

  The man’s kind gaze meets my own and he shakes my hand. “This is a three and two, built around nineteen-ninety. It’s plain, but a good size for a small family. Plus, there’s a large backyard for the little guy,” he explains.

  Nineteen-ninety. Holy shit, it’s practically brand new. I mean, to me at least. We follow the man inside and I let out a breath in a whoosh. There are dark hardwood floors in the entire living room, which is open to a kitchen, and a small dining area. Windows surround the living space, opening to a large backyard, comparable to the one we had in Texas.

  The walls are painted a pretty cream color, and when I walk into the kitchen, I place my ha
nd on the countertops, shocked to see that they are granite tile. Tears prick the back of my eyes as I take in the stainless steel appliances, the large tiled kitchen floors, and the fact that it has crown molding throughout. It’s a dream come true, a real dream.

  “Sweet Pea?” Ace mutters against the back of my neck. I can feel his warm breath touch my skin, and I’m speechless.

  Turning around to face him, I tip my head back and tears fall from my eyes. He frowns looking down at me. He lifts his hand, wrapping his fingers around the side of my neck. “What the fuck?” he rasps.

  I shake my head, trying to calm myself down. He tilts his head to the side, not releasing me, and obviously not allowing me to get away either. He waits me out. Inhaling and exhaling, taking in deep calming breaths, I finally lift my eyes to his and speak.

  “I’ve never even been in a house this nice before, let alone looked at it to live in. It’s a dream,” I say through my trembling lips.

  He doesn’t speak, doesn’t say anything at all. Instead, he uses his loose grip on my neck to pull me against his chest. I bury my face against his warmth, inhaling his delicious scent as I try to calm myself down. The past couple of weeks have been so over the top, so different from the stable and boring life that I’d built for me and Axe, that I feel overwhelmed.

  We stay like that, my face buried against Ace’s shirt for several minutes when we’re interrupted. “I already picked my room,” Axe announces.

  I giggle, lifting my head, and tipping my chin down to look at him. Ace doesn’t release me, in fact, one of his hands slides down to my hip and I feel his fingers grip me there. “Did you now?” his deep voice rumbles.

  “My own room,” Axe squeals.

  Ace’s fingers grip my hip tightly, he clears his throat and his deep voice fills our small area. “Yeah, buddy. Your own fuckin’ room.”

  KEYS

  IT TAKES me about two point three seconds to decide that this place is ours. I sign the paperwork and hand the landlord a fistful of cash while Axe and Carson walk around the house. The split floor plan is exactly what I’d been looking for, along with an attached garage. The rest of the shit I didn’t give two fucks about, but apparently, I picked a place that Carson loves, considering it made her cry.

  It’s a dream.

  Fuck.

  I didn’t really know that much about Sadie. Sure, we fucked, a lot. She was a good time and I knew she lived in a trailer at the edge of town, but I didn’t realize. I was a punk kid looking to get my dick wet with a fun chick. I didn’t bother really getting to know about her past, how she grew up, or why she was quick to run down to Texas, Carson in tow.

  “Sweet Pea,” I call out, clearing my throat as we drive toward the tattoo parlor. She doesn’t know this is where we’re going and maybe I shouldn’t be bringing Axe with us, but fuck it.

  “Yeah?” she asks, turning to me, her eyes brighter than I’ve ever seen them. Happy. This must be what happy looks like on my girl. I vow to keep the look on her face as much as I possibly can.

  Clearing my throat again, I continue, “You ever lived in a house, other than the place you rented in Texas?”

  She’s silent for a moment, but I wait her out. I know that she’ll speak when she’s ready, and when she does, I have no doubt that she’ll confirm my suspicions and probably blow my fucking mind out of the water.

  She sighs, then she finally speaks. “I wanted to give Axe a better life than I had,” she whispers. “That’s why I made sure he lived in a house, four walls, and a backyard, with all working utilities. I didn’t care how much I had to work, it just seemed like having a real house was something that I only ever dreamed of as a kid.”

  Reaching across the center console, I wrap my fingers around the top of her thigh and give it a squeeze. “Carson,” I hiss.

  She ignores me, turning her head toward the window and then she talks again. “We usually had a single-wide in a park to live in. Sometimes we lived in the backseat of our mom’s car. Depending on the month. Mom usually found a man to move in with, dragging us along. Whoever would supply her with dope. It’s why Sadie was so wild.

  “Nobody cared what we did, where we were, or what time we came home. She wanted to escape. I did too, but I knew her way wasn’t the way out. Her way was only going to turn her into our mother. I studied hard, staying focused on school and nothing else,” I shrug.

  I pull the car into the tattoo parlor’s parking lot, killing the engine before I turn to her. “Never again,” I announce. She finally faces me, a look of confusion clearly affixed on her face. “Never again,” I state a little louder.

  “Never again?” she asks.

  I shake my head once, leaning over and reaching out to wrap my fingers around the side of her neck to tug her closer to me. My lips graze her own. I feel her warm breath coming out in pants. “You’ll always have a house to live in. And when it’s time you’ll have a real fucking castle, I’ll build it for you. Brick by brick. I’ll lay it down if I have to. You deserve it, you deserve everything.”

  She hiccups, tears falling down her cheeks again. I feel the wetness as she presses her lips to mine. I taste the salt when my tongue peeks out to taste her soft lips. She doesn’t open her mouth, and I don’t deepen the kiss, not with Axe in the backseat, not with how goddamn horny I am.

  Resting my forehead against hers, I inhale a deep breath before I release it. “Okay, let’s go inside, get this done,” I mutter.

  “Where are we…” she asks, turning her head to the side. “Ace?” she breathes.

  I chuckle at her surprise. “Time to become mine, Sweet Pea.”

  She turns to me, her eyes wide, looking almost frightened. She has nothing to be scared of. This is for her protection as much as it’s because I want her to be tethered to me. And I do. I want her to be mine, I want her to belong to me, I fucking crave it.

  “Okay,” she sighs, sounding resigned.

  She’ll understand better one day. She’ll see that this is how it was always meant to be. She was born to be mine, to raise my children, to be their mother. The past doesn’t matter anymore, none of it does.

  All that matters is that she’s mine. I’m going to build her the fucking castle of her dreams. Then I’m going to lock her inside so that she’s always protected—always.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  KEYS

  TANK GREETS us at the door, his eyes glancing over me and landing on Carson with a grin. Crooner and Baby both told me this was the man I wanted to mark Carson. The way he’s eyeing her, I’m wondering if that was such a good idea.

  “Keys?” he asks, bringing his gaze back over to me. I lift my chin as my response. “C’mon in,” he says, lifting two fingers. “You looking to brand her, got any ideas what you want?”

  Carson stays quiet, which is fine by me, she doesn’t really have a say in her ink anyway. “I want it visible,” I announce.

  Tank nods, his eyes moving back to her and he looks her up and down. “She’s a tiny little thing, bro. Not sure where you want it unless you do what Snake did and put it on her neck, or Croon and plaster it across her entire chest.”

  I frown, thinking about Ginger and Hayden’s ink. It’s visible for sure, but I don’t think that Carson would want ink on her neck or chest. I think about where Ice had his name placed on Traci’s arm and shake my head. Fuck. None of those places remind me of Carson. Then again, a tramp stamp doesn’t really fit her either.

  She clears her throat and I look down to her, arching a brow. “Can I make a suggestion, you know, since it’s my body?” she asks, adding a bit of smart ass to her words.

  “I would like two tattoos,” she explains. I stay quiet, curious as to what she wants. “I’d like Axe’s name on my side, horizontally across my ribs,” she explains.

  “That’s gonna hurt like a bitch,” Tank announces.

  Carson shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. Next, I want Keys across the base of the back of my neck, between my shoulder blades.”

 
Tank looks from Carson to me, waiting for my approval. I lift my chin. He lifts his hand and asks her to follow him. She doesn’t look at me, not even a glance back. She’s probably pissed at me, but I don’t care. That ink is going to be hot as fuck, and the fact that she’s going to have Axe’s name on her body, just another link that binds us together, it makes me feel ten feet tall.

  Axe tugs on my hand and I glance down at him. “I’m hunry,” he announces.

  “Let’s go tell your aunt that we’ll be right back, yeah?” I don’t want to leave her here alone with Tank, but Axe hasn’t had lunch and I know it’s getting late. I should have grabbed us something to eat before we made our way over here, but I was a man on a fucking mission. I had tunnel vision, knowing that the sooner Carson is marked, the sooner I can show the world that she’s mine.

  We walk into the back room where Carson is lying on her side, shirtless with only her hand covering her tit. My growl escapes before I even realize it. Tank lifts his gaze to me, his expression blank and mildly annoyed.

  “Axe is hungry, you want anything?” I bark.

  She jumps slightly, her long blonde hair draped over the chair and almost touching the ground. I want inside of her body, fuck me, I want inside bad. We can’t get in that new place soon enough, a space to call our own. A bedroom to ourselves with a lock on the fucking door.

  “No thanks,” she says softly.

  “Tank?” I growl.

  He chuckles. “I’m good, brother. Won’t take me long to do these pieces. Doing it up simple. She wants to add some floral work later, just give me a holler,” he murmurs as he draws on a piece of paper.

  My eyes find Carson’s again and I hold her gaze. “See you soon, Sweet Pea,” I mutter.

  “Okay,” she smiles.

  Leaving her alone, Axe and I walk out of the parlor. There’s only a couple of places to eat in town, and my boy likes his chicken nuggets, so I take him to the Cash Bar. Maybe I shouldn’t take a kid into a bar, but I’m sure there’s worse shit I do in front of him, so fuck it.