COWBOY (Unfit Hero Book 5) Page 16

  Shifting my gaze to hers, I watch as her lips part and her eyes widen as she stares at me for a moment, then she shakes herself out of her daze and frowns. “Quiet, Damion,” she snaps.

  “After dinner, we’ll talk?” she asks.

  Nodding my head, I answer her question without saying anything. Beaumont, Hutton, and Fender appear moments later, obviously done with leaving us alone. “I’m going to fire up the grill,” Beaumont announces.

  “I just love watching a man do man’s work,” Damion sighs.

  I can’t help but chuckle at his words, and his obvious admiration for me and Beaumont. He could be a real confidence booster if nothing else happens on this little trip.

  We spend the rest of the evening cooking outside, while the women are inside with the baby and Damion floats back and forth between us and no doubt gathering as much information and gossip as he can.

  “Tell me,” I ask Damion when we’re alone.

  “Anything you want, Cowboy,” Damion purrs.

  Laughing softly, I shake my head as I bring the bottle of beer to my lips, beer that I know Beaumont bought just for me so I’m going to drink it. He hasn’t had a drop since he got out of rehab that I know of, and although he’d probably be fine with a little beer, there’s no way I’m going to even question it, or leave any to tempt him.

  “She okay, really?”

  “Define okay,” he says softly.

  Licking my top lip, I nod my head once. “She with that dickhead? Saw pictures of them together.”

  He snorts. “I’m not going to go into it, but I will tell you that she is not with him, and wasn’t then either. There’s only one straight man on her mind and it’s you.”

  Nodding my head, I lift my eyes to meet his. “She has a funny way of showing it,” I mutter.

  He shrugs a shoulder. “Give her a chance to explain herself.”

  “It’s probably all bullshit,” I grunt.

  He chuckles. “Isn’t it always?”

  “Typically.”

  We eat, not bringing up relationships or Stephanie’s running away the rest of the evening. Damion gets a full look into the past and what it was like to grow up in rural Texas. We’re all laughing and having a good time by the end of the evening.

  Fender is put to bed and we all sit around Beaumont’s small gas fireplace outside, just talking. I stay away from Stephanie, too afraid to touch her, not because I think she’ll push me away, but because I’m too afraid that I won’t be able to stop.

  Damion yawns when it’s about ten and Stephanie looks at her watch. “Damn, I have that interview in the morning,” she mutters. “You’ll be around tomorrow?” she asks, shifting her gaze to meet mine for the first time since I arrived.

  “Came here to talk to you, so yeah, I’ll be available.”

  “Jesus,” Damion hisses. “I want one.”

  Stephanie laughs softly, her gaze never leaving mine. “I’ll come by as soon as my interview is finished. Shouldn’t take long,” she says quietly.

  “I’ll be here, honey.”

  She doesn’t say anything else to me. I watch as she and Damion say their goodbyes then leave. Once again, I’m stuck with my thumb up my ass while she walks away from me and I’ve never felt like a bigger pussy.

  “I see good things,” Hutton whispers.

  Snorting, I shift my attention toward her. “Yeah? How? She couldn’t even look at me.”

  “Oh, she was looking, and in the kitchen, she was talking,” she says with a grin.

  “Do tell.”

  Hutton shakes her head. “Sorry, girl code. I will say, I think you can call off the wife hunting party, because I don’t think that Stephanie LaRue is going to let her man get away this time.”

  “Wasn’t me doing the gettin’ away,” I mumble.

  She hums. “I know, but have a heart, Ford. We all do stupid shit when we’re young.”

  “Yeah,” I sigh. “I always knew what I had in her though. Just wish she felt the same way.”

  Beaumont clears his throat. “I think she did, which is why she wanted you to have a girl who wanted all the things you did. She just didn’t realize that girl really was her deep down. Sometimes we have to sink a little to see what’s truly important, and a lot of times that’s right in front of us.”

  I don’t respond to his words. I know that he’s right. This whole thing just feels like a complete clusterfuck. My entire life feels that way and I hate it.

  I just feel really fucking unsettled, and there is something not quite right swirling around. I can’t put my finger on it, but it feels like shit is about to hit the goddamn fan any second.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  STEPHANIE

  “We’re here with Sterling LaRue for a personal, confessional, uninhibited, and raw interview,” Nicole Ashley says, her smile too bright, same with her teeth. I’m sitting across from her in full makeup and hair, while the cameras swirl around us.

  I despise interviews and the last one I did a few weeks ago, I wasn’t genuine. It was scripted by my team, publicist and agent, two people that I have avoided since, two people that don’t even know I’m doing this one.

  Damion is the only person on my team that knows I’m here. He’s sitting off to the side, his phone in one hand, his coffee in another as he watches me. His lips curve up into a small encouraging smile. He nods his head once as if to give me courage and permission to speak my truth, to say my side of things.

  I know that I can’t tell everything. I can’t talk about Sebastian borrowing money at a ridiculous interest rate from the Russian mafia, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t say everything else that’s happened, that I can’t be honest and forthright about myself.

  “It’s so wonderful to be here with you today, Nicole,” I say, smiling too bright and wide.

  My face already hurts, but this is all for the camera and I’m going to put on a show, at least for now. In a few hours, I’ll be able to see Ford, to tell him everything. To explain to him why I ran, again, and to hopefully figure out some kind of way to make us work.

  If he doesn’t want that, then I’ll be able to live with that decision, but I have to try. I can’t continue to live this way and I know that he doesn’t want to either. He’s ready for a change in his life, I just hope that I can be at his side.

  “You’ve had some obvious bumps in your road the past few months, starting with your quiet breakup with your fiancé Sebastian, then your father’s passing, and now a possible reconciliation on the horizon?”

  Laughing softly, I keep my voice as light and airy as possible. I want to tell her what a piece of shit Sebastian is, but I don’t. The last thing I need from him is to attack me for defamation.

  He’s already proven that he doesn’t give a shit about me or my reputation, he’ll also drown me, throw me under a bus, whatever it takes, to save himself.

  “I think that while I’ve has some challenges the past few months, I’ve also done some deep reflecting and I’m in a much better place today than I was before any of these things happened.”

  “Oh, do tell,” she purrs, leaning forward.

  I’m under no illusion that she actually wants to know, but for her fanbase, she needs to act excited for the tea I’m about to spill.

  My lips stay curved up into a smile and I nod my head slightly. “When I left Los Angeles, after my father’s passing, I never imagined that my life would be the way that it is this exact moment,” I begin to explain.

  I tell Nicole about my falling out with Sebastian, about going back to my roots and remembering just who I was before I became Sterling LaRue. Then, I tell her about the boy I left, then fell hard for all over again as a man.

  “Are you leaving us, Sterling?”

  Her question is one that I’ve been debating for days. Even if Ford doesn’t want me, can I stay here any longer? Is my heart in Hollywood anymore? Is my passion for acting? I can answer with certainty that, no, my passion for acting has dwindled. I don’t know if I
’m just burnt out, or if I’ve outgrown it completely.

  “Leaving? Are we ever truly gone, no matter what, in this industry?” I ask.

  She tilts her head to the side, her eyes searching mine, or at least appear to. “You’re America’s Sweetheart, the film industry will not be the same without you,” she pouts. “How can you go from being everywhere, to living in the middle of a small town?”

  I think about her question and I smile. “It’s easy,” I say. Her eyes widen and she jerks back slightly, not much, just enough that I notice I’ve surprised her. “My heart has always led me, and it’s calling me to go home.”

  “Home?”

  “My heart called me to come here seventeen years ago and leave everything I loved, everyone that I loved, and everything I knew behind me. Now, it’s calling me back where I belong. I tried this, and I love all of my fans and my life here, but it’s time for me to begin a new chapter. One that involves more than I can have here.”

  “More than what all of Hollywood can offer?” she scoffs.

  Licking my lips, I nod my head. “Yeah. Love, a family, friends that I shouldn’t have run away from. All of those things I can’t have here. I was young when I left Texas. I thought that I needed to try this acting thing out, live my dream, but I didn’t really take into account everything that I was leaving behind.”

  “What was it exactly that you left behind?”

  Inhaling a deep breath, I let it out slowly, my eyes finding the camera. “The love of my life,” I whisper.

  Nicole cuts to a commercial break and I let out a grunt as I lean back in my chair.

  “You’re really leaving? I can’t imagine you’d be happy in some little town in the middle of nowhere. You live in Malibu. I’ve seen you on every red carpet that meant anything for years. You’re a staple.”

  Laughing, I shake my head a couple of times. “I can guarantee that in less than six months someone else will take my place. I’m okay with that. I have lived my life in the lights and I’m tired. I’m ready to just be still.”

  She doesn’t say much else, our interview ends with a few questions about Sebastian and what he’s up to, all of which I avoid giving any kind of detailed answer on.

  Honestly, I don’t know where Sebastian is and I don’t want to know. Sure, I wonder if he’s okay, but other than that, I don’t want anything else to do with him—not anymore.

  Leaving the studio, Damion at my side, we stay silent as we approach my car. I slide the keys into Damion’s palm, not wishing to drive. Sinking into the passenger seat, I close my eyes and let out a breath.

  “You just did that, didn’t you?”

  Turning to him, my lips curve up into a smile. “I did. Grace is going to be pissed.”

  “Yeah, but fuck it.”

  “I still need you, at least for a while. I will give you the best recommendation that I can, and I won’t try to hold you back if you find a new job sooner rather than later.”

  Damion grins, shaking his head. “Girlie. I got you.”

  He doesn’t say anything else, and I don’t ask him to clarify what that means exactly. I honestly don’t care. My mind is already in Texas, everything else at this point is logistics.

  I’m not surprised when my phone rings and it’s Grace. I have been avoiding her for weeks. I’m sure she’s angry and she’s probably going to drop me as a client, which would just make things that much easier for me.

  “Hello,” I greet as the call connects to the Bluetooth in my car.

  Damion’s eyes widen when he hears her voice, and I watch as he clenches his jaw, probably to keep from talking. Grace doesn’t know anything that’s been going on the past few months, because I haven’t told her. If she’s angry with me, she has every right to be.

  “Did I just watch you throw away your entire career on television?”

  Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I nod as though she can see me. “You did,” I verbally agree.

  “I haven’t spoken to you in weeks and now this? What is going on with you, Sterling?”

  Inhaling a deep breath, I look out the front window as we drive. Turning my head to the side, I watch the tall concrete walls around us, wondering why I ever thought that this place was home. It wasn’t, never has been.

  I’ll never regret my time in Hollywood, the people I’ve met, the things that I’ve done and the places I’ve seen, but I’m ready for a real change. Seeing Ford last night, being around him, Beaumont and Hutton, it solidified everything that I had been feeling in Gallup.

  Maybe I just needed to step away for a moment and really think about what I wanted. Not what Ford wanted from me or what Sebastian was threatening me with. At the end of the day, none of it matters, except for what makes me happy, what I want.

  I want to go home. I want to be where I belong.

  “Sterling?” she asks.

  I tell her everything that I can. I omit all of the Russian mafia business, not wanting to involve anyone else in the drama. This could all be a mistake, but it doesn’t feel like one, not in the slightest.

  FORD

  Beaumont watches me through breakfast and after. He shakes his head with a chuckle. “You want to go to her place and wait?”

  “I don’t know,” I admit, my knee bouncing as I scroll through my phone. No missed calls, no missed text messages—nothing.

  He’s silent for a moment, then jerks his chin up as he leans back in his chair. “You didn’t unpack, did you?” he asks.

  “No,” I mumble.

  “Get your shit. I’m taking you to your girl.”

  I let out a snort, shaking my head a couple of times as my knee continues to bounce uncontrollably. “Is she that?”

  “Sure looked like it last night when she couldn’t keep her eyes off of you, and she looked a hell of a lot more nervous than you do right now.”

  “What if we’re just livin’ some kind of fantasy? What if none of this is real?”

  “What if it is?”

  Biting the inside of my cheek, I drop my chin and look down at the floor before I lift my gaze back up to meet his.

  “If it ain’t? What the fuck am I gonna do, Beau?”

  His lips turn up into a smile, he chuckles softly then he stands to his feet. “Can’t tell you what the future will bring, Ford. What I can say is that you been livin’ alone for far too long. Living in the past. Stephanie has always been where your heart lies. Don’t turn your back on that because of what-ifs. Ain’t worth the consequences if you do. Be ready in twenty.”

  Without another word, he turns and walks away. I’m sure he’s heading to his wife and baby, neither have made an appearance this morning. Doesn’t surprise me. Beaumont is an early riser or more like a never go-to-sleeper, but I think he lets Hutton and Fender sleep in as much as they can in the mornings.

  I want that.

  All of it.

  And when I get it, I’m never going to take it for granted, not a single fucking minute.

  Deciding to go ahead and have him take me to Stephanie’s, I stand and make my way toward the guest room to grab my luggage. If nothing else, the air between us needs to be completely cleared.

  We both need to move the fuck on.

  I didn’t fly all this way just to sit around Beaumont’s nice as fuck house and stare at the swimming pool.

  There are things that we need to talk about.

  If that means that I go home to Gallup single, without her, then that’s what it means. But seventeen years of feeling as though there has been no closure, that the last chapter hasn’t been written yet, it ends now.

  Tugging the handle up on my suitcase, I pull it behind me as I make my way toward the front door. Setting it against the wall, I turn around to see Hutton and Fender standing at the mouth of the kitchen.

  “You’re going to her,” Hutton states.

  I hum, nodding my head. “Don’t know what’ll happen. But we gotta talk. It’s long overdue.”

  “You didn’t get your talk in when s
he was in Gallup?” Hutton asks, her lips curving up into a grin.

  My own mouth smiles as I shake my head a couple of times. “We tried a few times, but not really.”

  Hutton laughs softly and she closes the distance between us. Reaching out, she places her hand on my forearm, squeezing me gently. “It will be just fine, Ford. Trust me,” she whispers.

  “Will it?”

  She hums, her gaze shifting around before it lands on me. “I waited for years for Beaumont to come back to me. I didn’t know that I was waiting for him, but my heart did. There’s a reason neither one of you has settled down. I know I’ve said it, everyone has said it, but please take this from someone who has experienced it, too. You’re restless, your soul is restless because it knows where it belongs.”

  I nod, unable to say anything in response to her words. She’s not wrong, not at all. In fact, she makes more sense than anyone else has. She has been through a similar experience with Beaumont, she isn’t just talking out of her ass.

  If she says that this can be more than just reminiscing over the past, then I need to at least try.

  Not just for Stephanie, but for myself too.

  Like Hutton said, there has to be a reason that neither of us moved on and not just because of lack of closure. I can’t believe that lack of closure can keep two people in relationship limbo for seventeen fucking years.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  STEPHANIE

  Damion pulls up to my house and I don’t see it at first, but he does. I hear him gasp. Looking forward, I open my eyes, widening them at the sight of the man leaning against my house, next to my front door.

  I want to talk to him, but I’m not ready. It’s too soon. I wanted to pick the moment, I wanted to call him, go to him. Once again, he’s ambushed me, and I hate it. He has always done this, always just been there, even when I wasn’t ready for him.