COWBOY (Unfit Hero Book 5) Page 13

  “Oh, we are,” Exeter says, her lips curving up into a smile. “You just leave it up to us. We’ll find you some nice girls.”

  “Ones I haven’t already fucked and forgot?”

  “That might be difficult,” Hutton mutters. “Your reputation and your roaming dick have traveled far and wide around these parts.”

  “I know that’s not supposed to be a compliment, but not gonna lie, totally felt like one.” I grin.

  They roll their eyes and let out a few girlish giggles. Reaching for baby Fender, I take him from Hutton’s arms and we leave the women to their plotting and planning. Holding him close, I wonder, not for the first time, if I’ll ever have one of my own.

  Maybe this new plan of mine wasn’t so stupid. I could have my own little one in a couple of years. That is something to look forward to, if nothing else.

  “Here he comes,” Rylan grunts.

  “Oh, so you’re talking about me, too?” I ask as I bounce Fender in my arms.

  Lifting my head, I look up to Beaumont who only has eyes for his baby and is staring intently. That. I want that. Maybe it’s something I shouldn’t want the way that I do. Maybe it’s not manly, but fuck it, I want it.

  “Some shit was leaked, nothing you need to worry about,” Wyatt says a bit too quickly.

  “Shit was leaked?” I ask.

  Beaumont groans at the same time Louis joins him. “You know how the paparazzi is, it’s mostly bullshit,” Beaumont says as he reaches for Fender.

  I hand the baby over, thinking that whatever they’re about to tell me is going to piss me right the fuck off and I don’t want to have a baby in my arms when I get pissed off. Crossing my arms over my chest, I flick my gaze from man to man, waiting for my answer.

  “Just show him,” Rylan murmurs. “He deserves to know. He could look it up on his own.”

  Beaumont and Wyatt both sigh, but it’s Beaumont who delivers the news. “There’re pictures of her with him. Rumor is they’re back together. Personally, I think it just looks like they met for lunch, then went on a walk.”

  I nod my head, my body filling with rage from his words alone. It shouldn’t. I shouldn’t give a fuck what or who she does. She told me herself that she was going to go back and talk to him.

  For whatever asinine reason, I care that she is with him, that she was seen with him. I fucking hate it too. His words make my entire body fill with complete rage, my blood actually boils beneath my skin at the thought of her with that fuck.

  “Good for her,” I grind out.

  “You want me to get the info?” Beaumont asks.

  Shaking my head, I run my fingers through my hair again, tugging on the ends. “No,” I bark.

  “No?” Wyatt asks.

  Shaking my head, I try to push down the rage, the hurt, and the pain from their news. “No,” I rasp. “She’s made her choice. I told her I would be here for her. I told her that I wanted her, that we’d make it work and she ran from me, again. It’s obvious that all she wanted was to fuck a couple times. She took her orgasms and left.”

  Saying the words aloud, coming to the realization that it’s what she must have truly wanted from me, fuck, it makes me feel like complete shit. Exhaling a sharp breath, I shrug my shoulder.

  “I’m moving on. It’s been long enough,” I announce. Lifting my hand, I toss my thumb over my shoulder where the girls are all huddled up. “Asked the girls to find me someone nice in town. Set me up on a couple of blind dates.”

  “Ford,” Louis calls.

  Swinging my gaze over to his, I wait for him to say whatever it is he has to say. He’s been really quiet tonight, though that’s not a surprise, Louis usually is quieter than the rest of us. He dips his chin, his eyes finding and holding my own.

  “Don’t rush, brother. You need to heal from her, from what you had with her. Get your closure. Maybe she got it while she was here, but you didn’t and that shit ain’t fair. You deserve it as much as anyone else, more probably.”

  Gulping, I swallow hard and nod my head. He’s right. I didn’t have closure, haven’t had it. Which is probably why I haven’t been able to move on.

  “Beaumont,” I call on a grunt.

  “Yeah?” he asks when I don’t say anything right away.

  He watches me. I let out a long sigh. “You get me her address while you’re there? I have some shit I need to do this week, but I think Louis could be right. I need to talk to her.”

  “You sure you want to go out there?” Beaumont asks. “You could just call her.”

  Shaking my head, I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, tasting blood when I do. “I’m sure. It needs to be done face to face,” I state. “I want her to tell me that she’s done with me. That it’s really over. I need to know.”

  “What if she can’t?”

  I shrug a shoulder. “Whatever the case, I need to hear it from her. I have to be able to move on. This shit isn’t healthy.”

  “No, it’s not,” Rylan points out. “You deserve to hear it straight from the source, in person.”

  “Thanks,” I say, smiling softly.

  He nods, and suddenly, looking around from friend to friend, seeing their eyes on me. I don’t feel like they pity me, but more that they want what’s best for me, and they know without a doubt that right now, what’s happening isn’t the best that I can have.

  Not even fucking close.

  STEPHANIE

  Licking my lips, I look around the restaurant. It’s like a movie, meeting a mob boss in a restaurant. I fully expect him to come into the place, the entire dining room to go silent as a bald, overweight, sweaty old man shuffles toward me with four armed goons at his side.

  That doesn’t happen.

  Sebastian fidgets next to me, his head tipped as he stares at his fingers wringing in his lap. I almost roll my eyes at him, he’s such a fucking pussy.

  Inhaling a deep breath, my eyes scan the dining area waiting for these men, these scary as fuck, Russian mafia men that hold Sebastian’s life in their hands.

  The only reason that I’m here is because Sebastian has promised them that I’ll be helping him gain new roles. That I will be the only way for them to get a return on their investment. If you can call loaning money to a self-absorbed B-list actor at an extremely high-interest rate, an investment.

  “Sterling LaRue,” a smooth voice purrs.

  Lifting my eyes, slowly, they travel up the body of a fit, well dressed, extremely handsome man. I am unable to hide my surprise as my gaze locks in on his. He doesn’t pretend not to notice my shock, his lips twitching into a small smile at my obvious surprise and appraisal.

  “I’m Kirill Baryshev, I believe we have an appointment?”

  Gulping, I nod, my lips parted in awe as he sinks down in the seat across from me. Sebastian’s entire body jerks as he lifts his head to look across from us, but I can gaze nowhere but this extremely handsome man.

  “You can call me Stephanie,” I whisper.

  He chuckles softly, the relaxed expression causing my insides to actually quiver. I know he’s a bad guy, but Jesus, I didn’t know they made bad men so handsome.

  “Stephanie,” he says, and the way he says my name, I could melt.

  His voice is lightly accented, it’s rough and deep. The waiter appears, bringing him a cocktail, one that he didn’t even have to order. I take that moment to shake myself out of the lusty haze that I have going on.

  I watch as he lifts the clear drink to his lips, taking a sip before his eyes focus on mine and he begins to speak.

  “Your lover has got himself in quite a predicament.”

  “He’s not my lover,” I say, sounding quite defensive.

  Kirill’s gaze flicks over to Sebastian and I watch as he shakes his head just a touch. “No? He made it sound as if you were.”

  “Well, we were,” Sebastian defends.

  Kirill lifts his hand, his palm facing Sebastian. The muscles of his entire body stiffen and just watching him, mine do the same.
>
  Pressing my lips together, I roll them around as I wait for what’s going to happen next. Thankfully, this is a public place, so I’m pretty sure that I’m safe, but that doesn’t make me any less scared or on edge.

  “You may leave us, kozyol.”

  Without even hesitating, Sebastian stands, and I watch as he practically sprints toward the back of the restaurant. I watch him go, my eyes traveling his retreating form and narrowing. The asshole.

  “Got yourself a winner, krasavitsa.”

  Rolling my lips one more time, I shrug a shoulder. “That’s just one reason we’re not together anymore.”

  He chuckles, it’s rumbly and sexy and I have to remember that he’s bad and not hot. I should not find him in the least bit attractive. His face softens as he watches me, he shakes his head a couple of times, then lifts his glass to his lips and takes another drink.

  “I’m sure there are many reasons, no?”

  “Too many to count.”

  He nods his head once. “Let’s get down to this, shall we? He’s brought you in, but I want you to know that I do not hold you responsible for his debts.”

  “Thank you,” I exhale, nodding my head.

  “If you would like to help him, you’re free of course. But just know that whatever befalls him, it does not befall you as well, yeah?”

  Licking my bottom lip, I sink my teeth into the flesh and nod my head. “Yeah,” I say.

  “You’re nothing as I imagined. You don’t seem like a spoiled little suka.”

  My lips curve up into a smile. “Thanks, I think?”

  “You remind me a little of my wife. Sweet, but takes no shit and doesn’t mind telling the truth, even if it’s harsh.”

  Wife. She must be one lucky woman, I think to myself. Kirill chuckles and I gasp, having apparently said those words aloud. Shit.

  “She isn’t,” he murmurs, his eyes dancing as they meet mine. “I am the lucky one. She has put up with quite a bit from me over the years and for whatever reason, she still gazes at me as if she loves me.”

  “I’m sure she does,” I whisper.

  From his words, my mind automatically shifts to Ford. I miss him. He looks at me as if he’s lucky to be anywhere near me and the feeling is mutual. If there is one person in this world that I could be with, fall in love with a second time, be happy with, it’s Ford Matthews.

  “Who is he?”

  Shaking my head, I swallow my tears. “Doesn’t matter. So, what can I do to get Sebastian out of trouble?”

  “Why do you want to help him?”

  I want to tell him the truth, if I don’t then Sebastian is going to release a sex tape, one that could completely ruin my image, though I’m not sure my image isn’t already completely fucked with the pictures that he leaked.

  “He has something on you that you don’t want the world to see. He’s a piece of shit like that, yeah?” Laughing softly, I nod my head in a confirmation without actually saying it. “I could get rid of him for you, no issue doing that, he’s squirrelly.”

  “No, I couldn’t,” I choke out.

  He grunts. “Figured you’d say as much. Let me see what I can do, what I can come up with for both of you. I can’t erase his debt, that’s not the kind of business I run. I can, however, work with him, but only because I like you, Stephanie.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper.

  He smirks. “Don’t thank me yet, I haven’t come up with anything and you may not like what I do come up with.”

  Smiling, I nod my head as he stands to his feet. “We’ll be in contact. I’ll have my man bring Sebastian back in, he tried to run,” he snorts.

  Without another word, I watch as a Russian mob boss calmly strolls out of a crowded restaurant. He’s gorgeous, he’s nice, and in love with his wife, all things that I didn’t ever imagine this man would be.

  I have no clue what he’s going to come back with as a way to pay back Sebastian’s debt, but I can already tell that it won’t harm me, not physically or in reputation.

  Chapter Eighteen

  STEPHANIE

  Leaving Sebastian at the restaurant, I didn’t bother waiting for Kirill’s man to bring him back to me and I stuck him with the bill. Fuck him. Thankfully, we brought separate cars. Driving back to my house, I can’t help but think of Ford.

  I thought that I could walk away from him, rationalize to myself that our lives were far too different for us to make it work. But the longer that I’m away, the more that I want things to work out. The more I realize that I’ve made a mistake. I want him. I never stopped caring for him, loving him.

  Pulling up to my driveway, I don’t bother pulling into the garage. I’m going to go to an interview later, there’s no reason for me to lock my car up yet. When I turn the engine off, I stare ahead, wondering just how I managed to fuck up my life the way that I have, why I’ve let Sebastian fuck it further.

  Unfolding out of the driver’s seat, I’m completely preoccupied with my thoughts, I don’t even notice the man standing next to my front door. That is, until he speaks.

  “Stephanie,” his deep voice rumbles.

  Lifting my gaze, my entire body jumps and my eyes find his. “Beaumont?”

  His lips curve up into a grin. “Hey, darlin’.”

  “What are you doing here?” I snap.

  His brows furrow together and his eyes take me in. I expect him to comment on my sour attitude, but thankfully, he doesn’t. Instead, he just tilts his head to the side, his eyes continuing to search my face.

  “Can I come in?”

  Lifting my shoulder in a shrug, I nod my head as I walk past him. Shoving my key into the lock, I twist it and open my house, walking inside and leaving the door open for him to follow. I almost ask him where Hutton is, but I decide against it.

  Honestly, I don’t deserve to know. I left the second time the same way I did the first, I fucking ran, like a coward. I hear Beaumont close the door behind me, but I don’t look back at him, instead I head into the kitchen and open up the fridge, reaching for a couple bottles of water.

  Holding one out to him, I turn around and wiggle it in the air. He smiles, taking it from my grasp.

  “Thanks,” he rasps. He lifts his eyes to mine, his gaze searching mine. “You gonna ask me about him?”

  Shaking my head, I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from asking him exactly what he wants me to. It’s been weeks. It hurts too damn bad.

  “He’s hurtin’, darlin’.”

  “Me too,” I whisper.

  “Why?”

  Closing my eyes, I pinch them tightly before I reopen them to look up at him. “Sebastian was going to leak a tape. Of he and I and of Ford and I, I’m stuck, Beau. I needed to come back here and not only stop him, but find out why he was threatening me in the first place.”

  “And you couldn’t tell Ford any of this?” he asks, sounding confused as hell.

  I snort. “What do you think Ford would say if I told him any of that? Besides, he knows the gist of it all.”

  He chuckles, lifting his shoulder in a shrug. “Fuck ‘em.”

  “Exactly. He doesn’t understand that my image is already teetering. He doesn’t know how hard I’ve worked to be where I am and how this video, it could ruin me. He doesn’t know that there’s no way in hell I want the world to see what he and I share, not ever.”

  Beaumont watches me for a moment, he doesn’t say anything right away, his eyes search my own, then he shakes his head.

  “I thought my career was over when I had to check myself into rehab. I figured my career was over when my band and I didn’t stay together. Sure, some of my guys went with me, but the team I have now is not the team I had when I launched into stardom.”

  “What are you trying to tell me?”

  His lips curve up into a smile. “I’m telling you that shit changes, darlin’. We aren’t the same people today that we were when we started out all those years ago. Maybe your image needs to get a little dirty for you to change your li
fe. The people who love you, for you, will stay right there at your side no matter what.”

  Turning my back to him, I walk toward my full glass double doors that lead out to the back yard. “Does anyone love me for me?” I ask softly. “If they do, I don’t know who they are.”

  Beaumont makes his way toward me, standing right next to me, but doesn’t touch me. “If you don’t know who those people are, then darlin’, I’m sorry but you ain’t seein’ the world around you.”

  “Everyone wants something, you know that.”

  He hums. “Yeah, they do. Sometimes they just want to be around you because they love you. Sometimes they just want to hold your hand. Sometimes they just plain fuckin’ like you, Stephanie.”

  “I’ve never met those kinds of people, not in years.”

  “Then you’re lyin’ to yourself. You got a whole mess of them in Gallup. Ford would slay goddamn dragons for you, Stevie. Venture to guess some of your people here love you just for who you are and not for what you can do for them, too. I didn’t think I had anyone either, not in the industry, but I did and so do you.”

  I don’t say anything and neither does Beaumont, not for several minutes. He sighs and I feel his body move away from mine. When he’s behind me, he calls out my name. Turning my head, I look over my shoulder at him.

  “Ford wants your address. Says he’s going to make his way out here and talk to you. He wants closure. He’s asked the girls to set him up with someone, doesn’t much care who as long as they’re ready to settle down and start a family. Just thought I’d let you know about that.”

  I suck my lips in, shaking my head as I attempt to keep my tears from falling. I can’t imagine. I don’t want to imagine. The fact that Ford is ready to move on, to settle down, it makes me feel completely sick to my stomach.

  “Thanks,” I breathe, unable to say anything else.

  Beaumont’s lips twitch into a small smile. “Want my advice?”

  “Not really,” I mutter.

  He laughs softly, his eyes focused on my own. “Don’t let him go. Whatever you have going on here, it’s bullshit. Life, real life, and happiness, they’re way more important than anything else here. Make a life with someone you love. If you don’t love Ford, that’s cool. If you want a life all by yourself, because you love yourself, do that then. Whatever it is, be happy, Stevie.”